To the obvious tune.
As I was going over the brown Potomac water
I saw Francis Scott, and I asked about his daughter.
He first produced an envelope and then produced a quill pen
He said "She won't deliver, here's directions to her tavern."Musha-rooms on a pizza pie (clap clap clap clap)
Slack for big daddy-o (clap clap)
Slack for big daddy-o (clap)
There's Miss Key in the bar!I took a drive to go there and she was a pretty maiden,
But as we got into my wheels, my hopes they were a-fadin'.
She swore the bags were all well sealed, and never would be leakin',
But there was cat food everywhere, a-crunchin' and a-reekin'.(first three lines of chorus)
There's Friskies in the car!Being Sunday morning, we went to church for prayer.
She was a good Anglican, and knew a shorter way there.
For about six or seven blocks, we walked behind the houses,
Someone up and fired his pistol, some owners are such grouches.(first three lines of chorus)
There's 'Piskies in the yard!Now some men like a fishin', but some men like the fowlin',
Some men like to hear, to hear the cannonball a howlin',
But me, I like downhill, epecially in Russia,
But stay away from royal feet, they're so huge they'll crush ya.(first three lines of chorus)
There's big skis on the Czar!
(For the musically impaired, the tune is Whiskey in the Jar, an old traditional Irish song. The words parodied here were used by Metallica, believe it or not. A much longer version, which I hope to parody eventually, was done by The Pogues. I forget which one Peter, Paul, and Mary did....)