The first line, which provided my inspiration, is by Mike Van Pelt.
(To the obvious tune.)
Haggis and baluks and lutefisk jell-o
Foods with a disgusting texture or smell, oh,
That make an eleven year old boy say "Cool!",
These I don't eat as a general rule!Foods that are dried where the bugs can get at them,
Foods that don't stay put wherever you sat them,
Foods that talk back in the most noxious way,
These I don't eat on a Y-ending day!When I'm nauseous, when I'm queasy,
When I hurt a bunch,
I just think of one of these foods,
And then I lose my lunch!Foods that are slimy and made up with Drano,
Foods with appearances that haunt your brain, oh,
Noone knows what the ingredients are,
And when you see it you'll want to run far!Foods that use parts that we normally discard,
Foods that are let sit until they are too hard
For humans to use as origin'lly meant,
Foods that will leave your esophagus bent!When I'm hungry, when I'm rav'nous,
When I need to eat,
I just think of one of these foods,
My diet I won't cheat!
(For the musically challenged, the tune is My Favorite Things, from the musical The Sound of Music, by, um, I forget whom....)