Of course you've heard gazillions of parodies of Barney's I Love You, You Love Me. But did you ever think of that poor sucker inside the suit? I thought not. Therefore this (growing) series....
(To the obvious tune.)
And he's probably sick of his job. He's probably sick of the saccharine screaming yard apes he works with too. So....I love you, you love me, Lord I have to take a pee,
And this purple suit makes me sweat like I've the flu.
'Scuse me while I hit the loo!
I hate you, you love me, can't you tell I'm not Barney?
He's a stupid reptile, he should be extinct.
I tried to hide but someone finked.I hate you, you love me, Barney drives me up a tree.
I wish I'd never taken this damn job;
Please Lord let me 'scape this mob.I hate you, you love me, I just do this for a fee.
I hate kids and wish they'd go away,
But flipping burgers doesn't pay.
(For the musically challenged, I'm not even going to tell you what the tune is. If you don't know the original, you don't understand the parody anyway.)