To really understand this one, you should be familiar with the antics some people pull on newsgroups, BBSes, and other electronic forums.
(To the obvious tune. NOTE: Should be sung BY A MAN, starting as HIGH as he can sing.)
I'm a user...
I'm a user...
And I'm not what I appear to be!Although I giggle and flirt like a slut,
There's not a man who's laid hands on my butt.
I get hit on by almost all the men;
I set up dates and "forget" where and when.I'm a user, and I'm not what I appear to be;
I'm a user, BBSing deceitfully....I say I'll show up at parties and meet
All of the men who say they're at my feet.
Of course I don't go, but make an excuse,
For if I did they'd put me in a noose.I'm a user, and I'm not what I appear to be;
I'm a user, and the sysop thinks my sister's me....They think I would be such fun in their beds;
They don't catch on as I play with their heads.
I like to have as much fun as I can
I must work hard, or they'll know (*) I'm a man!I'm a user, and I'm not what I appear to be;
I'm a user, surprising anatomically....
(*) suddenly lower voice to BOTTOM octave of singer's range!
(For the musically challenged, the tune is I'm A Loser, by The Beatles.)