Filk: I'm a Spammer

by Dave Aronson

(To the obvious tune.)

I'm a spammer...
I'm a spammer...
And I'm just what I appear to be.

Of all the networks whose wires I've crossed,
All of the users wish I would get lost.
I send junk email to millions my friend,
Most go into the bit-pail in the end.

I'm a spammer, sending lots of UCE,
I'm a spammer, and publicity appeals to me.

/* argh, I forget the rest of the original lyrics, gonna hafta just rely on the rhyme scheme and meter from here on.... */

I fill your inbox with ads you don't want,
MMF scams and web pictures of cunt.
Mail my postmaster and try to complain,
It is no use, for I forged the domain!

I'm a spammer, raising costs for your ISP,
I'm a spammer, and I'm not where I appear to be.

Let's not forget I hit newsgroups as well,
Now you know what they mean by "Usenet Hell".
Crosspost to all the newsgroups I can find,
Keeping a low Breidbart Index in mind!

I'm a spammer, on the edge of criminality,
I'm a spammer, you can't send mail up here for free....

(For the musically challenged, the tune is I'm a Loser, by The Beatles.)