This has previously been published in The Intelligencer, the newsletter of Mensa's computer SIG (Special Interest Group). DISCLAIMER: It is not in any way blessed by or otherwise connected with Cray, Silicon Graphics, etc.
(To the obvious tune.)
I would stop and sit for hours
Staring at fractal seaflowers
With real-time 3-D spray;
I would simulate the petals
And their elemental metals
If I only had a Cray!I would analyze the stresses
On Marie Antoinette's tresses,
On that fateful final day;
Optimize the guillotine
So it will cut her neck clean,
If I only had a Cray!Oh I could tell you why,
Each grain of sand's ashore;
I could ray-trace like you've never seen before!
And then I'd sit,
And play some Mor...i...ah...
[spoken:] in full color... with accurate combat rules... and pictures of all the monsters... and detailed help on what they are, and what they do... and lots of neat new spells and [THUMP!](*)I would calculate the value
Of "pi", and listen pal, you
Best listen what I say;
'Cuz when I finish that trick
"e" and "i" would make a hat trick,
If I only had a Cray!(*) Stage direction: Dorothy kicks Scarecrow to get him to get on with song
(For the musically challenged, the tune is If I Only Had a Brain, from the musical The Wizard of Oz; the composer's name escapes me at the moment.)