Wedding Tips
- Don't rush it. It's certainly possible to do all the planning
and other arranging for a wedding in the space of three months, as we're
doing, but it's very stressful. There is a good reason all the bridal guides
say to start your planning a year in advance!
- Don't be afraid to buck tradition. It's your day, so do
it your way! Like I said, Esther and I wrote most of the ceremony
ourselves, the rest being either readings we chose or comments written by the
minister. We did at least stick to the usual format: opening comments,
reading, question of intent, vows, ring exchange, closing comments. However,
we didn't fully follow the wording of either of our "faiths", and added
allusions to more parts (such as how the gazebo sort of alludes to a chuppah),
plus elements of others -- though it's not overtly religious, nor obviously
Native American, our closing comments were from the Apache Wedding Prayer.
- Shop around. Not just for your intended, that is, I mean for the
site(s), the caterer, the florist, etc. We saved a bundle by going to
a Hallmark Gold Crown store, after
seeing how much the invitations cost from a well-known fancy stationer at a
custom paper store!
- Delegate as much of it as possible -- but only to people that
you have absolute confidence in.
- Keep it simple -- but, if you want to impress the guests, not
too simple. B-) It's a delicate balance. Mainly, you don't want to
come off as curt and perfunctory. Repetition and redundancy are okay
in a ceremony; indeed, they may be necessary, in order for people to
remember it without it being written down.
- Check out stores thoroughly before you decide where to
register. Esther and I decided to register someplace that turned out to have
a HORRIBLE selection. We had joked about registering at Bed Bath &
Beyond and/or Home Depot, where I can walk in and know I'll always
find a few things I need or at least want... and THEN, when it was too late,
we discovered that BB&B does have a bridal registry -- and is far more
widely available than where we registered! Whether you're fresh out of
college (or high school???), or have been on your own for decades, check it
out, you're bound to find lots of things there that your friends can get you
-- without breaking their budgets.
- (Which reminds me, what's with this tradition of registering for
china??? Okay, if you're inviting a few hundred guests, and
telling them all where you're registered, and begging for the china, you
might get the complete set. Or if you're really lucky, Daddy
will volunteer to finish out the set if you don't get it all. Otherwise,
you're going to feel obligated to shell out big bucks to complete a set
of china that, chances are, you might use once or twice a year, at
most. I suspect that tradition was started by the china companies! But, if
your situation is one of the above, or you entertain a lot, so that
finishing the set is a worthwhile expenditure, okay.)
- Start and finish with some kind of dramatic flair. (The Disaster wasn't quite the "dramatic flair"
we were after, but still, just an ordinary properly-lit Baked Alaska, which
was all we wanted, would have been fine....)
- It's very convenient to have the reception at the same site as the
wedding. All the more so if you can put up out-of-town guests there too. I
highly recommend Rockwood Manor Park.
- See also:
- If you have any more tips, email me.