Driving: Road Rage

If someone pisses you off, don't escalate! Road rage is becoming a factor in more and more accidents, many fatal. Here are some better ways to deal with typical situations:

• If someone cuts you off, don't flip the bird, don't tailgate (that's another one of the tips above!), and especially don't pass him so you can cut him off back. Honk, or flash your lights? That's okay, briefly, because if he escalates, you can de-escalate it. How? First, just continue not to escalate, and chances are he will just go on his merry way. Second, should you ever have the chance to say something to each other, SOP (Standard Off-brain Procedure) seems to be to escalate further until one of you has to submit and lose face, or loses face in a much more literal sense. Instead, you can "explain" that you were only trying to make him aware that there was someone there, which of course he wasn't, else he wouldn't have done what he did. (Yeah, right. But giving the other guy the benefit of the doubt, at least verbally if not in your own mind, is a good survival tactic.) This gives him an opportunity to come to his (tiny) senses and abort the whole thing, with only a small loss of face, which, in light of such an explanation, he might realize he deserves.

• If someone's tailgating you, again, don't flip the bird. If you can safely just pull over a lane and let him pass, do so. You never know, he might actually be in the sort of life-and-death situation his actions imply. (Though of course, being a polite and considerate driver, you weren't dawdling in the fast lane, were you???) If these don't work, a tempting thought is to slam on the brakes. Don't. You will be held at fault if he rear-ends you. However, you can look like you're braking! Turn on your hazard lights, let them blink a few times, then shut them off. Chances are he won't know the difference, and will either back off (at least temporarily) because he thinks you're slowing, or will get a clue, and stop tailgaiting. If that doesn't work after a try or three, it's time for "if you won't use a following distance safe for our speed, I'll make our speed safe for your following distance!" Again, don't slam on the brakes, but take your foot off the gas, release the Cruise Control, whatever, and just gently decelerate. (If he hits you, now you can claim to have been decelerating as gently as possible. If you want to be even more blameless, you can put on your hazard lights again.) By the time you get to a full stop, chances are, he'll have either backed off, in which case you can accelerate again, or you'll have gotten to a place where you can pull over and/or he can pass. If not, get going again, and, as the shampoo makers say, "Repeat as necessary." Note that you have done nothing to put anyone in danger, nor impugn his character, skills, car, manhood, or whatever.

• Of course, follow all of my other tips, so you don't give anyone else cause to develop a case of road rage at you!